Why is it that we give much better advice than we take? No really, why it is? We give such great and sound advice to the people around us, yet we seem to forget those same words of wisdom and direction when we find ourselves in need of it.
A couple weeks ago, I was talking to my best friend. The conversation was one that we probably have far too often. The subject of weight! She was feeling a little defeated about her weight and was being really hard on herself about it. Now let me give you a little back story on my bestie. She has a 7 year old daughter and most recently had a set of BEAUTIFUL identical twin girls almost a year ago and baby girl has SNAPPED ALL THE WAY BACK! I’m talking flat stomach here guys! Now, sure, when she looks in the mirror, she sees all the beautiful changes child bearing has brought to her body. However they don’t seem so beautiful to her. You know how it is. We see it first and better than anyone right? So I do as I always do and as she always does for me, I lift my sister up! I urge her to stop being so critical of a body that has created life! How amazing is that? I remind her that she is beautiful. That is what others see when they look at her and that is what she needs to see. All those Instagram posts that flood her feed with women with “PERFECT” bodies should be the last thing she compares herself to. ***The following is said without any attempt to put another woman down, but to just be REAL.
“A lot of those women are manufactured bihhh! A lot of them have a balance in their bank accounts that will afford them round the clock personal trainers and chefs! Hell, a lot of them are lying!!! Filters and photoshop can do as much for you as surgery can these days! Some of these women don’t even have children! How can you compare yourself to them?! And…can we talk about genes? We are all working with our own unique set of genetics! Now that, my friend, is a whole other monster!”
As I found myself advising her that it was OK to go to Dunkin Donuts and get that “french vanilla iced coffee with sugar on the side AND light ice at the end of her work week! That is how this entire conversation was birthed. I thought of the many times she has encouraged me to stop being hard on myself. I thought about how the SAME advice that I was giving to her in that moment, she had also given to me over the years. When I am feeling convicted about going to (or having ALREADY gone to) Publix to purchase that slice (or bar) of carrot cake, she is in my ear telling me that it is okay to treat yourself. Just don’t overindulge. And let me not just make this solely about weight, because it is truly about life. Everything in life. When I feel unmotivated or unhappy in ANY area of my life, she advises me and I her, but it always seems so reminiscent. She is usually telling me something that I have advised her and/or someone else at some point of time. So… why is is that we need the things that we put out? Why is it that when we are going through our own shit, that wisdom that resides in us is seemingly on vacation? My answer (in short) is this. The healers of the world need healing too.
So healers of the world, KEEP HEALING. The words you put out today may also be the words you find yourself in need of tomorrow! Keep giving. Keep Receiving
I AM EBONY 