Since yesterday, my timelines have been filled with posts about this Ayesha Curry interview from The Red Table Talk. I’ve even received a couple texts about it. A lot of the posts basically taunted or attempted to shame her in some way about her admissions of feeling a bit insecure about not receiving male attention similar to the attention her husband, Steph Curry, receives from his countless female fans flocking to him.
“Something that really bothers me and like, honestly has given me a sense of a little bit of an insecurity– is the fact that yeah, there are like all of these women like throwing themselves, but me like the past 10 years, like I don’t have any of that. Like I have 0… it sounds weird but like, male attention. And so then I like begin to internalize. I’m like is something wrong with me?” -Ayesha Curry
I don’t know how the rest of the world missed this, but I completely understood where she was coming from. Let me see if I can help paint a more vivid picture for anyone who doesn’t understand. I liken this to back in my “club days” when I would go out with my cousins/friends and there would be nights when one person may be the one that got all the attention for the night. Nevermind the fact that everyone else was equally feeling themselves. Some nights just specifically belonged to me or perhaps someone else. Can you imagine NEVER having a night that belonged to you? Let that simmer.
Before I go into my spill, let me first, applaud Mrs. Ayesha Curry for allowing herself and gifting us with that moment of truth. Unlike many of us, the world is her audience, so I commend her for her vulnerability.
Now, back to why I am annoyed (if it isn’t already obvious.) I have seen so many different memes and I’ve read the things people (so boldly) have TYPED (internet bullies) to debase the validity of her feelings. I very clearly remember this one particular day. This was my first time really coming out of the house after having my daughter and starting to feel more like myself. Child, I was feeling myself! I walked into a service station which had at least 3 men that could clearly see me walk through the door. Not one of them looked at me. I mean, they saw me, but that was it.
“Cause I don’t want it, but it would be nice to know that, like, someone’s looking.” -Ayesha Curry
Now here is the thing, I didn’t go into that service station looking for any sort of attention, but in that moment, I realized that the attention I used to get before I had my beautiful daughter had taken a major shift. Baby, I was used to turning just about every head in the building! I was rudely awakened that day. That moment not only stuck with me for years, but it sparked an insecurity in me that lasted for some several years.
Being in the celebrity seat is a gift and a curse. The world will either be there to celebrate, uplift and support you or condemn you and beat you down. Sadly, the latter is what Ayesha received. We missed a moment to (more than anything) support her (our sister) in a feeling that is so natural amongst woman. Amongst people. We are all dealing with our own set of insecurities. Anyone who says that they are not or have not, lacks the capability of being real with themselves. We need to do better at lifting one another higher instead of pushing one another to uncertain edges.
In closing, there are SO many other issues we could be spending our time on. Previously unreleased video footage from Sandra Bland’s cell phone has just been made public. Can we talk about that? Can we sign some petitions to reopen this case that let Brian T Encinia, previously of Waller County Sheriff’s office, off with basically a slap on the wrist? Can we talk about gun control? Can we talk about health and wellness? Can we talk about youth mentorship? Can we talk about black entrepreneurship? What about presidential candidates? There are so many other areas that NEED our attention. Ayesha Curry isn’t one of them. Let’s shift our energy.